Affair Recovery

Dr. Rakel Delevi provides in-person therapy out of Pasadena, and online throughout the state of California

Over the last 15 years,  I've had the privilege of guiding many couples and individuals through their most intimate and challenging moments including affairs. While affairs can be devastating, they can also be an opportunity for healing and growth. 

Therapists play a crucial role in helping individuals and couples navigate the challenging process of affair recovery. Here are some aspects of my work during this difficult time in your relationship. 

Creating a Safe Space: I establish a safe and non-judgmental environment where clients can openly discuss their emotions, concerns, and experiences related to the affair.

Understanding Different  Perspectives and Meaning Making: I work to help you understand the perspectives of both partners involved in the affair. This involves exploring the underlying issues, motivations, and emotions that contributed to the infidelity.

Exploring Root Issues: I delve into the root causes of the affair, addressing any underlying issues within the relationship that need attention. This could involve examining communication breakdowns, unmet needs, or unresolved conflicts.

Assessment of Relationship Dynamics: I assess the overall dynamics of the relationship, looking at communication patterns, trust issues, and any pre-existing concerns that might have contributed to the affair.

Individual Counseling: I may conduct individual sessions with each partner to address personal feelings, coping mechanisms, and self-reflection. This allows individuals to explore their own emotions and understand their role in the relationship.

Communication Skills: I help couples improve communication skills, teaching them effective ways to express their needs, concerns, and emotions. This is crucial for rebuilding trust and fostering a healthier relationship.

Rebuilding Trust: Rebuilding trust is a central focus of affair recovery. I guide couples through exercises and discussions aimed at restoring trust, which may include setting boundaries, increasing transparency, and demonstrating commitment.

Forgiveness and Healing: I assist clients in the process of forgiveness and healing. This involves acknowledging the pain caused by the affair, understanding the impact on both partners, and working towards mutual forgiveness.

Developing Coping Strategies: I help individuals and couples develop effective coping strategies to deal with triggers, anxieties, and insecurities that may arise during the recovery process.

Creating a Relationship Vision: As part of the recovery process, finally, I assist couples in creating a shared vision for the future of their relationship. This includes setting goals, expectations, and strategies to maintain a healthier connection.

It's important to note that affair recovery is a complex and individualized process, and therapy approaches may vary based on the unique circumstances of each couple. I base my work on evidence based therapy approaches like Cognitive Behavioral Therapy as well as works from well known colleagues in my field like Ester Perel, John Gottman, and Brene Brown. I supplement our work with podcasts, worksheets, and other homework to help you get the most out of the therapy process.